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Got You All In Check Pt. II · by R.H.S.
Today I turn your attention to a most gaudy, obnoxious target: hiphopgame.com and more specifically their car-wreck of a review of Sean Price’s Monkey Barz. I won’t spend too much time deconstructing the site as a whole. To be honest I hardly ever read articles posted on a site that looks like the electronic equivalent of a promotional poster for a shitty around-the-way club. I chanced upon this review while looking for write-ups on Sean P.’s latest and I must say, after reading it, I am just as confounded as I am annoyed. And I’m very annoyed.
With as little hyperbole as possible, Jeffrey Lindseym starts off strong and reveals his balanced, reasoned appraisal of the album:
This Sean Price Cd is one we all need to have in our CD players.
OK, all excitement over the new Sean P. album aside, why should we denounce our God-given freedom of will and blindly heed your command, Jeff?
Why??? It’s the shit thats why!!!
Oh, right! But wait—in our futuristic utopia, even compact discs are capable of performing tasks we never thought possible before:
once I popped this cd into my stereo the ride began.
Hot damn! This is definitely a progression over those g-funk CDs that used to get said ride’s hydraulics bumpin’. This would have frankly scared the bejesus out of me.
Undeterred and sober of mind, Jeff was able to appreciate the music and offer this incisive critique:
It made me smile. The beats hit hard and the lyrics were enough to make anyone smile at hip hop.
Well ain’t that special. Surely such a glowing commendation means that this is an instant classic that will be universally lauded until the Lord turns the lights off on this lil’ world, am I right Jeff?
But then again this cd isn’t for everyone.
But Jeff… just a minute ago you said … oh my god can it be …what … is going …on ?
If you didn’t like any Heltah Skeltah Cd or weren’t a fan of the Duck Down movement then you probably won’t have as much fun with this cd.
Ok, so does that mean that the people who hated every Heltah Skeltah album but were still fans of the Duck Down “movement” do like this new album, or … oh forget it, I give up!
Although I saw a growth for Sean P and his solo career he still is what he is. And I don’t think he needs or wants to change. I mean who wants to disappoint??
Is this a review of a rap album or two high school friends musing about a once-beloved but now questionable third party?
Here are a few songs to exemplify my point:
Yes. Get to the exemplificitude, Brohem.
They just happen to be in the beginning of the CD I received:
“I am typing this as I listen. Okay, skim. Okay, peruse the back cover.”
Peep My Words (Produced by Kleph Dollaz) An intro track at its finest. It does what it needs to. Which is to sets the tone for this album. Produced quite nicely from the drops of the beat to the vocal effects. The beat itself although simple in its essence seems to have that calm before the storm effect. As to say… Welcome to the storm..
Does hiphopgame.com pay by the word or by the Captain Kirk abrupt half-sentence? Either way, you’re killing the game Jeff! No, seriously.
One Two Ya’ll (Produced by Moss) Who the fuck is Moss?? Who cares he did his thing.
The level of professionalism at this site is mind-blowing. Not unlike the level of confidently stated high-brow musical analysis:
I don’t know what it is… nothing on this beat hasn’t been done.
Damn, nothing? So did he, um re-use “Impeach The Funky Drummer” or cut Rakim’s “punchin’ niggas in da face just for livin’?” These would seem to me to be quite amateurish moves, as if the beat was, um, how do I say…
Its an intro class to beat making beat.
Yes, that’s it! One of those. I heard a few in my “Intro To Beat Making” class. I’m getting straigh B’s this semester!
But at the same time its as captivating as anything innovative… guess Moss passed that course with flying colors. The title is ample for the track. I mean the beat and the lyrics are what its all about. The marriage of this one two punch is what we all look for in a song. An anthem for Sean Price at its best…a way for him to flex his lyrical muscle… trust me dude is movin’ weight.
Its an intro to writing junior high school style music reviews in the voice of Juelz Santana review!
Onion Head f/Tek of Smif N Wesson (Produced by Khrysis) Alright you know DJ Khrysis got that crack boy!!!! Tek plays a nice ying to Sean Price’s Yang on this song. The switch up of vocals is refreshing and adds to the song. A very arrogant song but you gotta be in this game.
I gotta be in what game? Wait, what happened? What did I miss?
And who said that Sean Prince has no reason to be arrogant.
Come to think of it, who said that questions need a question mark.
This is the type of track that should help Ruck stand on his own two away from Rock. Without a banga its hard to establish yourself away from your partner. SP got one so haters can SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!
I’ll let this one speak for itself.
Fake Neptune f/Buckshot, Steele & Louieville (Produced by Rudy Rox) The beat ain’t fake. But check this out this dude Rudy Rox banged out something comparable to the neptunes. Even had a prechorus to the song and rocked that out. The set up was a complete rip off the format of the Neptunes. A parody at its best. If it was making fun or seriously an ode to the neptunes it was that shit.
Hahaha, ok I get it Jeff, you’re just fucking with us, right? This is a parody of bad hip hop writing, right? This is making fun or seriously an ode to Steve “Flash” Juon it was that shit.
Everyone on this track fucked it up. If you ever though this kinda track couldn’t get gutta….try listening to this track. It’ll turn you into a believer.
Are you sure Jeff? Last time you instructed your disciples to believe your word you quickly reneged … ok, I will submit this time, master…
Heartburn (9th Wonder) vintage 9th wonder, very soulful and full in sound. The hook fits the idea of the song and nice setup for each verse that comes in. This song rocks a train of thought that most people don’t have or are afraid to voice. All this love shit…hahaha. His love isn’t the orthadox love song opics. Seems like he opens up his door to live his life in this song..
Did you just call Sean P. a FAGGOT????
This isn’t your normal hip hop. It’s not your run of the mill rap CD. What this album reflects is a person.
You heard it here first: Rodney C, T-LaRock, KRS-1, and Cam’Ron are all ANDROIDS. Ok, cyborgs, whatever.
.
Thats music. When man, machine, microphone, and beats mix. Sean P no doubt did his thing. He is a madman!!!!!! If this is what duck down is planning for the future don’t be surprised if they are in ya ear more and more
“I barely listened to this but it appears to be a popular release so um, yeah…”
I enjoyed this CD thouroughly from top to bottom. Not many cd’s out there that rock right. But this one did.
“I enjoyed skimming through this and making capricious judgements based on nothing. Our site doesn’t review many CDs at all.”
Song Rating – 4.0
Rhymes – 3.5
Beats – 3.8
Originality/Replay – 4 (closer to 4.25)
Readers, you do the math. Hiphopgame.com is about as credible as Vanilla Ice’s publicist and they make Hiphopsite.com look barely readable. Avoid this site at all cost (if their exceedingly ugly layout hasn’t deterred you already).
Comments for "Got You All In Check Pt. II"
— sankofa Dec 20, 11:32 AM
— lar Dec 21, 09:46 PM
wow….you murdered that kid’s review…he was probably only 15 though. i dunno, that review definitely could have used some editing, but from the tone, i’m assuming it’s either (a) a young kid or (b) someone for whom english is a second or third language.
— spirit Jan 4, 01:29 PM
Going to Hiphopgame for the reviews is like looking at Hustler for the articles. The music downloads are what makes it halfway decent. Still funny though.
— Skein Jan 12, 11:28 AM