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Famous Netcees To Look Out For In '06 · by agent b
A few of our (and soon to be your) favorite Netcees are releasing albums in the 06.
“MC PolyHipHopagon – Da Mazes Of Life”
MC PHH has been making serious moves since he got arrested for child pornography in 2003 and started writing raps/finding God in jail. Luckily the Ol’ Warden allowed him to record his debut solo opus “Da Mazes Of Life” – a splashy intertwined gaggle of sounds and also words – right there in his prison cell in Cobb County, Georgia. Witness his toungue-twistery ode to Nintendo’s R.O.B. the Robot on “HaXorZ 4 L1Fe”, a vitrolic engagement ring of clashing silverware and glittery angelic prose. We’ll be sending Oh Nerd care packages and stomped out G Unit mixtapes to you until 2018 when you get out, you wily boytoucher.
“Battle Rappin Sam – Building Sandboxes Is HARD Work”
If one album falls from your Jansport and shatters as you gleefully twist your white dreadlocks and wipe hummus off your Triple 5 Soul scarf en route to the Twirly Urban Dance competition at your NYU dorm, you better hope this isn’t it. Battle Rappin Sam is the future of this rap stuff, and he’s old enough to be your father! Acute Cranio-Facial Syndrome hasn’t stopped this wise crackin’ former 5 percenter turned sandbox engineer from dropping the year’s most downloaded album. Support!*
*do not actually support
“Whirates – Yo Hoe Hoe!”
Whirates is a conceptual project from white rap duo Dan n’ Friend. The album explores what it would be like to be a wigger Pirate sailing the Hudson river and dublooning for faux gold, radio play, and painfully average white girls who listen to “anything but country” in the modern day world. Whirates, generally looked down upon by real Pirates, pose in lavish knock offs of popular Pirate clothing and accessories and commonly practice their screwfacery in front of a mirror before taking it to the gritty streets of Franklin Lakes, New Jersey. Yar!
Note: This piece was part of an April Fool’s satire.
Comments for "Famous Netcees To Look Out For In '06"
lmao, you guys are funny as shit, I’m loving this site
— Jink Apr 1, 01:57 PM
good list, but you forgot Rhombus The Unpredictable
— Combo Apr 1, 03:45 PM
If you ever take a trip down to Cobb County, Georgia, be sure to walk the line and obey the law and order.
— SmoothJimmyApollo Apr 4, 03:51 AM