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Five worst movie ideas so far this year (2006) · by Kimani Rogers
Bow-wow stands on a stack of phone books during the shoot of Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
5. Tyler Perry – Why Oprah Winfrey loves this cross dressing coon-tastic moron yet hates rap music is beyond me. But I know sambo when I see him. Shucking and jiving in the name of jesus still ain’t right.
4. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift – vin diesel and paul hunter both jumped ship from this franchise. Who asked for this movie? I mean seriously. If you guys have money to blow out in Hollywood send me the budget for this movie via paypal. I’ll invest 90% of it and spend the rest on strippers and beer.
3. Miami Vice – Dukes of Hazzard anyone? Now Mr Foxx, a few r&b songs does not a sex symbol make. Let us not forget that Jamie Foxx was one of the ugliest women we’ve ever seen on TV. And coming from a straight man, he is no Phillip Michael Thomas. And little ass Colin Ferrel ain’t no Don Johnson either. I mean couldn’t they at least get an American actor if they felt like they had to make this stupid ass movie. What’s next Russell Crowe as Ralph Kramden?
2. Phat Girlz – I feel as if I barely need to speak on this. But the idea of that fat retarded lady from The Parkers having a handsome doctor from some unnamed part of “Africa” fall in love with her is I guess what the movies are all about… fantasy. But I’m quicker to buy a bunch of hairy midgets with big feet, some elves, and a wizard before I’ll believe this story. And why is it that black people in the movies always act like Africa is a country? It’s a continent dickheads, read a book sometime.
1. Little Man – I seriously thought it couldn’t get worse than White Chicks. I thought that was the moment where a person in trouble would hit bottom. I mean Soul Plane made money but everybody involved with it was embarrassed to be a part of it. I was wrong. What is wrong black people? What is wrong Marlon and Sean? A prisoner midget passing off as a baby? And by accident he drinks breast milk? Who wrote this script? Seriously if you go see this movie you need to go apply for handicapped parking immediately.
Hollywood. Send me some money. I’ve got some ideas.
Kimani Rogers is part of power trio (minus one) Roosevelt Franklin.
Comments for "Five worst movie ideas so far this year (2006)"
Word to Tyler Perry and the stereotype cash in.
— sankofa Jul 5, 10:32 AM
That Little Man movie is a storyline jacked from Looney Tunes and you can’t have a list without mentioning that awful Tyrese movie where on the same day he gets out of jail he gets carjacked and they take his son and he needs to rob banks to get up the ransom. That’s just pitiful.
— jbutters Jul 5, 01:58 PM
you are correct. i completely forgot about the tyrese movie. i should have expanded. and word to adam sandler but i have my suspicions about click too. it’s almost like they updated the storyline to ‘small wonder’.
— kimani Jul 5, 08:02 PM
little man is the truth
— rageohol Jul 5, 11:26 PM
Glad I’ve never seen any of these films. I still don’t get what’s supposed to be funny about Tyler Perry and Marlon Wayans.
— DJ Flash Jul 6, 06:43 AM
who you got on the watch-list for the rest of the year? my money’s on Snakes On a Plane
— kam Jul 6, 03:05 PM
There is nothing wrong with a little bit of “coontastic” fun.
— reninatronix Jul 6, 03:26 PM
I don’t remember anybody saying that about Spike Lee’s “Bamboozled” though.
— DJ Flash Jul 8, 06:57 AM
that’s really messed up on how u guys bashed the blacks on here. i think their funny and half most of u pink turning, pig looking white folks aren’t funny
— fuk u May 17, 11:53 PM
hey fuk u…
your thesis is flawed. this is a photo of the author of this post on the greatest day of his life.
now go buy a roosevelt franklin album and repent for your sins.
— Rafi May 17, 11:58 PM