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The secret to the music biz (the 20 year rule) · by Sach O
I said, well daddy don’t you know that things go in cycles…
Psst. Kid. Come here kid. I’m going to tell you an infallible way to make some cash in the music biz whether you’re an artist, producer or bitchass A&R guy. A couple of decades ago this thing wasn’t perfected yet but it’s been stable since at 97 when Clear channel bought up all the radio stations so it’s pretty safe to state. Here’s the trick: all pop culture trends are officially dictated by the 20 year rule. What is the 20 year rule you may ask?
All trends and fads are dictated by the memories of the people in charge of the music biz who will attempt to recreate their childhood from exactly (no more nor less) 20 years ago.
It takes 20 years for a music fan to ascend to a position of power in this business and by the time they get there, the only thing they want to is to recapture the magical feeling of enjoying music which they’ve lost as their soul was slowly devoured by the giant machine we call the entertainment industry. That’s where YOU come in. Its your job to deliver the exactly what these guys in charge want. That’s how you get the cash.
Right now you’re going, oh that ain’t right! People are smarter/less predictable than that! And what if audiences don’t want what these label execs want! That’s why you’re broke and reading this blog. People will listen to whatever the labels feed them and the labels have been feeding them reheats for a while now. Think about it. The early 90’s grunge n’ tie dye alternative fad was just an angrier version of early 70’s peace and love turning into disillusion by watergate. By the late 90’s disco (which you had all thought dead) miraculously came back through Puffy’s jiggy loops. The Neptunes early 00’s reign was nothing if the return of Prince and I really shouldn’t have to explain how all these indie dance bands are really just Duran Duran in disguise. The formula is perfect.
Alright, so now that we have the premise down, here’s the 2 things you need to remember in order to make money off of this thing when you sign/create that “new” sound.
1. You have to idealise the era you’re remaking
2. You need to find something that hasn’t been remade yet and time its release for maximum nostalgia.
The first part shouldn’t be so hard: even if you’re remaking the 80’s its probably better if you ignore the bad stuff like the big hair and concentrate on the parts that still seem cool like the dancy synths and the 808’s. You’ll notice The Darkness never got bigger than joke status because they concentrated on the ridiculous qualities of their era. Franz Ferdinand meanwhile replaced the bad hair with a more modern equivalent and got away with it. Hell, today’s hair is just as ridonkulous as the 80’s anyways so it’s no big deal. The important thing is to make sure people remember the happy parts of their childhood when they hear your product, NOT the fact that their moms forced them into dayglow jump suits at pre-school.
The second part might be a little more difficult. Think now. What successful 80’s act hasn’t been emulated yet? You’ve got a bunch of Madonna’s, a couple of MJ’s and a bunch of rappers are running Run DMC’s dookie chains into the ground. Hell Jay-Z even signed a Beastie Boy just in time for the 20th anniversary of Licensed to ill. Looking forward to 07, you can expect rappers to start talking about stuff like Chuck D and KRS only without all of that anger and rebellion. Remember, you’ve got to smooth out the bad stuff.
So if you were to ask me kid, I’d already be concentrating on 08, 09. It shouldn’t be too hard to get ahead of the game, just find yourself a Hiphy equivalent to NWA and develop that for a few years and you’re guaranteed a hit. Watch out for the MC Hammer remakes though, those pants aren’t coming back.
Oh and if there’s any of you who want to slit your wrists over how retarded pop culture has gotten, don’t worry, I got your back too. In a few years Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake will come off as ridiculous as Tiffany and Michael Bolton when nu-grunge kills that bitch made pop shit and people jump on the dick of the hardcore (at least for a good 4-5 years). Now find me a Kurt Cobain!
Comments for "The secret to the music biz (the 20 year rule)"
cant EVEN believe you compared JT to fucking michael bolton. my relationship with ohword is officially over.
— arlene Jul 14, 07:43 PM
Arlene. The comparison of JT to MB is an astute one. They are both Top 5 White Male Vocalists of all-time. They are both incredibly handsome. They both successfully improve on “Black” forms of R&B/Pop music.
If you have beef with Mike, you have beef with me. I challenge you to listen to Steel Bars and not feel the desire to love and be loved, or to jam When Im Back On My Feet Again and not feel the inspiration to conquer any obstacle. Listen to Mike’s version of “Georgia” and I dare you to ever want to hear that other guy’s attempt to sing it.
In closing, Justin Timberlake, while well on his way, has some catching up to do in order to be seen as this generation’s Mike B. It may like comparing Dwyane Wade to Jordan, as there will never be another MJ/B, but if JT keeps pumping out the jams and decides that he isnt too cool for an nsync reunion, we may be witnessing a new “New Love”.
— blastmaster Jul 14, 08:25 PM
good christ you are fucking hilarious
but michael bolton is a faggot i wanna punch in the balls and jt is not a faggot and i wanna put my mouth on his balls. HUGE DIFFERENCE!
— arlene Jul 14, 08:49 PM
Clearly you don’t remember Blastmaster’s now legendary Michael Bolton flood in Mp3x. Dude knows his Bolton.
I mainly used Timberlake as a comparison point because both of them have weird noses in the above pictures. And regardless of any Ball-to-mouth-ambitions you may have, Timberlake’s new song is pretty terrible.
You shouldn’t nix the relationship with Ohword though. We’re like the mafia. A nerdy internet mafia.
— Sach Jul 14, 09:07 PM
You nailed this one dead on. And I for one am enjoying the hell out of those Duran Duran inspired indie dance bands (not to mention Joy Division, Bauhaus, etc.)
— Brian Clark Jul 15, 12:52 PM
Oh, and no doubt… I have my eyes peeled for the next Cobain. The one who will save us all. :)
— Brian Clark Jul 15, 12:54 PM
I’ve known about the 20 year cycle for over ten years. Never thought to try and cash in on it! I need to buy some evil pills….
— Cho's Boy Jul 29, 08:17 AM
If this interests you, read my article from 2002 (“Cyclorama— The 20-Year Rule”) at Perfect Sound Forever…
GJ
— Gregg Juke Mar 22, 04:21 PM