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Got You All In Check · by R.H.S.
Back when Rafi and I first discussed launching ohword.com, we spoke extensively about our mutual disdain for the slipshod hackery that tends to pass for music reviewing on the average hip hop website. From unfocused introductory paragraphs to fallacious assumptions concerning intentionality to banal discussions of producer credits, internet hip hop reviews tend to suck. I won’t even mention the piss-poor grammar or the solipsistic approaches that render many reviews entirely unreadable.
While I do not consider myself to be a perfect writer, I do work hard to craft credible, informative reviews that honor the efforts of the musicians. Unfortunately, most websites do not hold themselves to the same or even remotely similar standards and this forces me to CALL YOU SUCKERS OUT. While doing a little Google-powered research to prepare to write a review of Sadat X’s new album Experience and Education (Female Fun, 2005) I noticed that the initial online reception of the album was characterized by the most fallacious, amateurish, bogus writing I have had the misfortune to encounter in recent years.
Sucker reviewers: I SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING. And since everyone needs to fall off the bicycle and scrape a knee to learn how to ride without the training wheels, consider this a gentle shove in the right direction:
Over at the amusingly titled and Boston-based savehiphop.org, writer Scott Ronan eschews not only the use of italics and quotation marks but also having the slightest fucking clue about his subject matter in his review of Sadat’s latest work:
In about 1995 Sadat X dropped his solo album, which was a Wild West concept album which in my opinion was no where [sic] near the quality of the Brand Nubian albums. He did do another solo EP after that but I’m afraid I never picked it up or even heard it, so I can’t comment.
Well, where do we start? Even though a simple search at allmusic.com would have yielded the actual title of Sadat’s first LP (Wild Cowboys, dunce), its exact release date to the day (June 16, 1996, genius) as well as the title of his second LP (The State of New York Vs. Derek Murphy, schmuck), Scottie can clearly give less than a fuck about the credibility of his site or himself for that matter. Before taking on the Herculean task of saving hip hop, Scottie should try saving his strength and braving the treacherous mountain ranges and roaring rapids to approach the legendary elusive oracle so as to procure such highly esoteric hip hop knowledge as “basic artist info.”
If Mr. Ronan’s unintentionally self-effacing opening paragraph is not enough to convince you that he is both an ignorant and unskilled music reviewer, you need look no further than his second paragraph for absolute proof of his new jack idiocy:
So this album is Sadat’s third solo joint and he’s using some unknown producers and a few respected underground producers …
Nothing suggests professionalism more than a sentence that starts with “So…” (he also begins the review like this and follows with a pitifully glib synopsis of Sadat’s long career) and you’ll have to try your darnedest to top the credibility-boost that comes with pigeonholing luminaries like Diamond D. as “unknown” or at best (and this is giving Rogaine a lot of credit) “respected” and “underground.” Never heard of a producer? No problem – just relegate said producer to coveted “underground” status and avoid having to place the recording in question in any kind of educated context!
Rodan does not stop at dismissing the careers of producers however. He is just as happy to besmirch Sadat’s legacy as a rhymer in a misguided, sub-literate attempt to shed positive light on the new album, and in turn, himself (a typical new jack ruse that relies on the adoption of a uninformed, bullshit sense of musical evolution as a linear development):
He displays more depth in his lyrics this time round and proves that he has grown mentally since he dropped ‘Money is the sweetest hangover’.” In fact if nothing else this album shows us just what Sadat is capable of lyrically providing thought provoking rhymes on a conscience level.
Well then. Assuming that Ronin meant “conscious,” I wonder if he considers “Concerto In X Minor” or “Allah U Akbar” or any number of politically-charged, highly intellectual rhymes that Sadat has dropped over the years to be thought provoking? Or were those rhymes not “lyrically provided” and thus inferior to the new ones? And what is so simple-minded or offensive about flipping a typically trite Diana Ross lyric into something more invigorating and inspiring, however bragadocious? Do you listen to this genre or do you skim through it, motherfucker?
Don’t expect Rosicrucian to clear up any ambiguities in his writing. He is more adept at posing absurdly unanswerable rhetorical questions:
But in a hip hop market plagued by bad RnB songs and a million G Unit clones will this album give Sadat the financial rewards he deserves?
Besides the fact that everybody’s mama should tell them at least once during their childhood that inquiring about a grown man’s finances constitutes bad manners – does anyone, including his die-hard fans really give a fuck if Sadat X. reaches platinum status on this effort, or ever?
The man has been releasing music for fifteen years on labels major and minor, to great critical acclaim and to virtual silence, in collaboration with pop stars as well as underground nobodies. He’s reunited with his Brand Nubian brethren twice. Other than his admirable dedication to his craft, the one consistent aspect of his career has been the reality that he hasn’t sold the number of records that he might have given better promotion and less bootlegging. Clearly Sadat is at peace with his supposed lack of monetary success (for all we know he’s making less visible moves in the industry and caking, though), so what stake does Ro-Ro have in it? My guess is that even a fifth-rate hack knows that content is king and you gotta give ‘em at least five hundred words if you want them to come back and read some more.
Take a cue from our friend Sadat X. and buckle down and try to perfect your craft, homeslice. This review is a disgrace not only to yourself but to the musical legacy of an artist who has worked hard for years. Nobody is impressed with this solipsistic narrative of yourself as an emergent Sadat X. fan:
I was never really a Sadat X fan and often found his nasal tone annoying but I found myself humming these tunes and generally enjoying the album…
Face it, poo-putt, you slept for years and your brownie-point rummaging review suffers gravely for it. Step your game up already, you suck. Your readers deserve better.
Rest assured, ducks, OhWord is in your town with a Nintendo gun and a fucked up attitude. Mind your p’s and q’s and start editing your pitiful little rap reviews if you know what’s good for you. Crumbs.
Comments for "Got You All In Check"
— sankofa Nov 27, 08:42 AM
— mike Nov 27, 03:30 PM
— jb Nov 28, 08:51 PM
Thanks for your review of my review I appreciate your input. However I would like to set you straight on a couple of points. Savehiphop.org is not actually my site I write a few reviews for my friend Bobo who runs the site. I got a promo of the first 12” off Wild Cowboys in late 1995 and made the mistake of using the date of the promo instead of the actual release of the album. The State of New York Vs. Derek Murphy is a six-song release and in interviews Sadat has called this an EP rather than an LP so I was only following his lead. I did not refer to Diamond D as an unknown producer and wouldn’t make the mistake of doing this as Diamond is one of my favourite producers and I have most of his production work ranging from the underrated “I created a monster” 12” through to his recent Diamond Mine CD.
I agree that Sadat X as part of Brand Nubian has made some positive hip hop but as a solo artist he has also made songs like “Money is the sweetest hangover” and seeing as I was reviewing his solo work I felt it best that I refer to his solo work and not his Brand Nubian work. Maybe I have slept on Sadat for years but his recent album has prompted me to re examine his back catalogue. I was a big fan of Brand Nubian up until Grand Puba’s departure and after that I felt the group lost direction. They seemed to be positive on one hand whilst beating down punks with the other and at the time that turned me off them. I have since picked up their second album and third albums and the Punks Jump up to get beat down 12”; I love the Diamond D remix of that.
I do appreciate your comments, as any input will help me to improve my reviewing technique. I recognise that they are far from perfect and yes the readers of the site do deserver better and in time my reviews will get better. Resorting to name calling in my opinion is a cheap shot and I would have expected more from someone who runs such a good site. I enjoy your site a great deal and would really appreciate any further feedback you may have on my reviews minus the name calling that is.
Scott Ronan
— scott ronan Mar 24, 07:06 AM